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Okay, so, weddings are over. The peak has been reached, it’s all downhill from here.
That was one helluva party. The wedding itself was lovely. The whole thing took place at the Na Aina Kai Botanical Garden, which is just stunning. We’d gone into this trip with the “this wedding is going to be aMAZing” notion because the bride and groom are successful and clever and have good taste. When I saw the set up for the wedding, I was impressed, but not as overwhelmed as I expected.
The ceremony was under a tree, followed by cookies and drinks in the hedge maze.

Steve did a great job with the service, by the way. Just the right balance of humor and sincerity, nice measured tones. He’s available for all your wedding needs. Look how cute he is in his stole:

So they got married and turned us loose on the cookies and it was lovely, but you know, just nice.

Then they took us down to the reception.

Ho-ly crap.

The bride is a visual designer and money was no object. Trams took the guests to a meadow near the beach. There were tents and pavilions with fluttering curtains and comfortable furniture. Nary a folding chair in sight.



I’ll have more pictures when I’m home and can download from my non-phone camera.

Then the Japanese taiko drummers started:

Video to follow, it’s amazing.
A terrific dj took over from there while the cater waiters circulated around, bringing us wonderous food while we sprawled on our various divans. As night fell, someone scattered little LED marbles around on the lawn. They winked in and out like fairy lights. Children in fancy wedding clothes gathered them and tossed them around. Magical. Steve and I walked out to the beach and returned to find a scene out of a Coppola movie. The spectacle parts, not the strewn-with-bodies parts. There was a troupe of fire dancers, their hoops illuminating the crowd. We were behind the show, but it may have been even better from that angle. We got to see the spangled, synchronized twirling AND the girl whose job it was to snuff all those fires as the dancers exchanged hoops for batons or batons for fire poi balls.

A fire was built on the beach and s’mores fixin’s were laid out. There was a local gal whacking open coconuts with a machete to offer ice cold coconut water (you could also get rum and vodka mixed in, but really, why mess with it).

In the dark, each cabana was lit a different color, the paper globes bobbed in the breeze, the marbles winked in and out…it was a thing to see. Impressive. I felt bad for as-yet-unmarrieds, because you can’t compete with this.


So, it’s pretty here. We woke to find that this is the view from our room:

We’re at a Marriott property, and they’re always nice, but this one is…grand. Huge columns holding up those open-air spaces that you see on TV. Massive ceramic urns. 10 ft tall concrete fish. Where do these things come from? It there a factory that just makes giant hotel decor? And can some one find me video of the 10 ft high fish factory floor? Or maybe the truck filled with them?


We hadn’t gotten our car yet, so we had to walk to breakfast. We ate at The Feral Pig (because why wouldn’t you?) and watched a chicken think about crossing the road. Service here is famously leisurely, so there was lots of time. Steve got something called a Feral Moco, which was a bed of fried rice topped with a burger, topped with pork belly, topped with fried eggs, topped with brown gravy. I got porky tacos.


They were under spiced and not very exciting. And it turns out chickens are EVERYwhere, so we didn’t even need that.

Seriously. There are chickens all over the place. Mostly roosters; it’s like a Fire Island for chickens.


On the walk back, Steve took his life into his own hands:


Look out! Bear shark! Wave!

We got our rental car from a local place for way WAY less than the chains were charging. It’s run by a couple that opened it as a way to live here. They used to visit every year and decided to find a way to move to the island. I can see how that would happen. Look at this:



Yes, I’m keeping an eye out for Vincent the dog and the smoke monster.

We went to the rehearsal for the wedding. It’s being held at a botanical garden. Plants here look fake, like silk plants you’d dismiss as unrealistic.


Of course it’s killing me to not know the names of these things, I’ll have to get an app or a book. Turns out this is where they grow those cell phone towers:
(Photo is at the end. Hard to edit on my phone)

I spent my time at the rehearsal dinner trying to avoid social interaction. Sadly, making small talk with strangers is not a thing that has gotten easier with age. I was looking enviously at the women with babies-they get to pretend the baby needs them. That sure made things easier. I should rent a baby for social occasions…

On one of my forays into solitude, I noticed that the night sky looks different. Logically, of course it does, but it was still weird. I’m no astronomer, but things were clearly not where they should be. And so MANY stars, really beautiful. Like everything else.

In the preview, it’s showing that the last two paragraphs are underlines and blue. Don’t know why. Not going to worry about it. I’m all Mahalo, yo.


We’re in Kauai! We left Dulles at 9am and arrived here around 7:45, which is 12:45 in Real Time. I’m trying to hang on until 10. So tired.

We flew Virgin from DC to LAX, Delta the rest of the way. It was like going from a well-maintained 2010 Infiniti to a 1986 K car. A K car filled with unhappy babies. We were grateful to finally land.

Waiting for the bags to arrive we got to hear a video being played over and over. The gist of it was “the ocean is a death trap, best to just stay on your room.” The oft repeated mantra was “when in doubt, don’t go out.” Actual quote: even when walking too close to the surf, a wave can knock you down and a rip current will take you.. And then “don’t panic,” which is fine for the Hitchikers Guide, but near useless if you put me in a phobia situation. I’ll maybe stay well up the beach with an umbrella drink, thanks. And I won’t pick up any tiki heads.

More when I’m awake and there is light by which to see.


May 2018
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