Well, at least if *I* throw them.  Honestly, I cannot believe people still leave their children in my care.  So yeah, the bat mitzvah party required a 911 call and an ambulance ride for one of the guests, but we’ll get to that…

But other than that, how did you enjoy the play, Mrs. Lincoln?  It was fine, the service went well, Julianna was awesome, the weather was perfect, the food was fantastic, everyone (well, almost everyone) had fun.  It started with the service.  I got a few photos of Julianna practicing with the Torah, since I couldn’t take pics during it.  That was a shame b/c the morning sunlight was coming in and shining on her so nicely.

with Rabbi Dan

The actual service was loooonnnng, but nice.  Rabbi Dan let everyone come up and have a look at the Torah and ask any questions they had.  A lot of the kids from Julianna’s school were there and they asked good questions and he clearly enjoyed answering them and educating folks.  I’ve never attended a Saturday morning service before, so I didn’t really know what to expect.  Turns out, you can expect a lot of Hebrew.  Julianna read her Torah portion perfectly, as far as I know, and her talk about what she had read was well-written and had a couple of laugh lines.  I cut out as soon as Julianna’s part was over, so that I could get up to the Tea Room to decorate.

The Tea Room is a nice cabin in a nearby state park, on top of a mountain.  It’s the sort of place that is perfect if the weather is good and…small if it is not.  Luckily, the goat sacrifice paid off and the weather was p e r f e c t.   I ordered white tablecloths and a mix of brightly colored napkins.  Veggie Annie, the caterer, had gotten them set up before I got there.  I had gotten some potted flowers from a nursery and some colorful baskets from the dollar store.  I put those on the tables as well as a bud vase with peonies from the yard.  I had framed a gazillion photos of Julianna and sprinkled those around, too.  And, oddly, I had many yards of ribbon that says “Bat Mitzvah,” left over from the old scrapbook kit business days.  Julianna was a bit horrified at the Festival of Julianna aspect of it, but it looked pretty. :O)

You can see the tables, so pretty!

Admire my 20 dollar dress. Oh, and Steve.

I dwarf my bite-sized parents

the whole Greenberg clan

Close to half of the guests were Julianna’s friends.  They’re a great bunch, I love to have them around.  They’re not afraid to be goofy and play.  I’m sad to lose the 8th graders this year.

the kids lost their fancy clothes as soon as they hit the cabin

In the picture above, they’ve discovered that they could climb the wall up to the porch.  I had already told them to stop perching on the rail or I’d beat them, so when they saw me watching them climb the walls, one of them asked “are you going to make us stop?”  So I said, “well, I’m not very good with safety, so I don’t REALLY care, but please don’t climb in flip flops.  I turned away and got halfway across the porch before Julianna fell from the rail.  In sneakers.  Knowing that since any life-stage event places you in the Danger Zone (Being in the Danger Zone is when your death or disabling would be that much more tragic b/c of when it happened–driving home from prom, flying off to your honeymoon, climbing on a wall at your bat mitzvah), I sprinted over, sure I’d see her broken body at the bottom, but she’d only hurt her ankle a bit.  And her pride.  Luckily, she falls or gets hit in the head with something almost every day, so none of the kids really paid it any mind.

We totally figured that was the big drama for the day.  But no.  The kids were all running around outside and Julianna came in, annoyed that I didn’t have a psychic sense that something was amiss and was just standing there, and said “MOM, Sara’s having a terrible knee issue or something!!” I jog out in my inappropriate-for-running-on mountainsides-shoes (see? always wear Birkenstocks) to hear the kids yelling “Sara’s kneecap isn’t even on her LEG anymore!” and “Sara’s kneecap is OFF!!!” so I’m picturing pools of blood, I run back into the cabin and say “Someone call 911!” and head back out, only to find Sara sitting up, making not a sound, and kind of holding her non-bloody leg. I now think it’s no big deal and she’s twisted it or something b/c a dislocation shouldn’t just let you SIT there. But then I see that it looks….wrong. Luckily, it was a bat mitzvah, so there was a doctor present. An oncologist, but good enough. He tells us yes, it’s dislocated. So we call her mom and the ambulance comes. Sara is WHITE. Whiter than a white girl in a snowstorm. Her mom pulls up as they’re loading her into the ambulance. Now, if *I* pulled up to see my child being loaded into the back of an ambulance after having had a disjointed and poor reception-y call from some mom I barely know, I’d have screeched to a halt and sprinted down. Probably knocked over a paramedic or two trying to get to my baby.  But lucky for Sara, I’m not her mom.  Her mom was very chill. Unflappable. Which explained why Sara wasn’t crying or freaking, I guess. Anyway, she went off to the ER, eventually the party got back into swing. Sara’s expecting about a 2 week recovery, but will know more after she sees an ortho on Monday.

Lily was FREAKING, you can see Steve trying to soothe her up there.  Julianna had stayed with Sara the whole time, so she was a little wigged out.  I pulled a couple of the kids over and told them it was their job to make sure she knew that the party would go on and they would have FUN.  so it was weird for a bit, but then they carried on.

They ran around playing games and hiding from one another.  I seldom really knew where they were–again, bad chaperone.  When it was close to time for the parents to come get them, I figured it would be best if I knew which ones had actually been picked up and which ones we should call the rangers about, so at least I managed that much responsibility.

So, good weather, good food, good story.  Success.

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