This week’s source of mirth has been the pack goat vet care class Julianna took last weekend.  The what?  Pack Goat vet care class.  Through 4-H.  See, apparently you can take a goat hiking with you and it can carry some of your gear.  I find it easier to just drive up to a campsite and unload from my car, but some people prefer to load up a goat.  “But you don’t have a goat,” you say.  That is true.  However, in 4-H, you can lease an animal to train it and show it.  So, rental goat.  Julianna’s rental goat lives at a friend’s house.  The friend’s dad is one of the Pack Goat leaders.  Last weekend, they had a vet come out and show the kids (ha!) how to do some basic goat vet care stuff.

Turns out, step number one in all goat-related vet procedures is “Get enough people to hold down the goat.”  This notion has amused the crap out of us all week.  “So, what do we need to do first today?”  “Get enough people to hold down the goat.”  It’s like a 4-H minyan.  Nothing is official unless you have a goat restraint quorum.

So she learned how to give a goat CPR…in case they OD or something.  And how to bandage their legs.  And, of course, how to take their temperature. Which is just what you imagine.  Today the 4-H leadership group were writing 30 second radio spots.  Julianna’s began “Have you ever had to stick anything in a goat’s butt?” and went on to say you get to do all sorts of things you didn’t think you’d ever do in 4-H.  One of the other kids actually said that her opening line “didn’t make me want to join 4-H.”  Seriously?  Is your soul dead, child?  Another pointed out–a valid point I think–that she never said exactly WHAT she was putting in a goat’s butt.  So then we laughed about a project that just involved seeing how much a goat butt would hold.

I have trouble seeing how the actual hikes can be half as much fun as saying “goat butt” several times in one day.