I need self-writing blog.  A chip in my head that will transmit my thoughts to WordPress and then print them out.  Or maybe not…”So I went on a field trip today…ow, my hip hurts…this time with the middle school…Where’d you learn to drive, buddy?…we went to Annapolis…your bumpersticker makes you contemptible…”  I guess it would need a filter.

I DID go to Annapolis with the middle school kids, though.  It was a gorgeous day and we toured the state house and the Naval Academy and went on a harbor cruise.  On the grounds of the Academy, our guide was telling us about this and that and told us that the plebes have to wear goofy little sailor hats for the first couple of months and then they get their grown-up sailor hats.  But there’s some ceremony-type thing where they have to try to get a hat off the top of an obelisk that the upperclassmen have greased with lard.  So she pulls a photo out of her twee little historical basket (she was dressed in period costume, here, check her out:

keep her in mind for this next part) and I can’t find the exact photo online, but it was a lot like this:

only much hotter.  And gayer.  More like this:

and this:

That middle one was from a site called Project Q Atlanta and was headlined “Shirtless Plebes Climb a Phallus” (click through if you’d like so say “Hi Sailor!” a bit more).  And the last one was from a site called “Queer Sighted.” So clearly I was was not the only one who thought that photo deserved a bit more study.  The students either looked away or leaned in closer and the grown-ups all raised their eyebrows at one another.  “Excuse me, mistress?  When did you say this ceremony takes place?”

It was the sort of day that the Naval Academy could use for recruiting, if they needed to recruit.  There was a funeral taking place in the chapel, so there was a procession with bagpipes and summer whites:

The  harbor tour was very nice, always good to be out on a boat.  I couldn’t actually hear much of the tour b/c, as I mentioned, it was full of middle schoolers.  At the end, the captain put on some song that everyone on the boat seemed to know.  It was one of the standard dance tunes that tell you how to do the dance about which they are singing.  Sounded like all the rest, utterly inoffensive and bouncy…but it was odd to have that totally out of touch feeling.  I mean EVERYone seemed to know it.  Except me.  Where do people hear new music now?  Does anyone listen to the radio anymore?  MTV no longer actually plays any music…is it just piped into their heads?  Anyway, even though I didn’t know the song, I was sorely tempted to get up and dance just to see the utter mortification on Julianna’s face.  I do still owe her for several temper tantrums in Target and Borders…

Speaking of phalluses (and really, when aren’t we), I made Julianna a cake for her birthday party a few weeks ago.  She wanted a nose (to follow the brain and eyeball of previous years) and I was just winging it.  My first layout seemed…inappropriate:

Luckily, I had some cake left to make it more…nosey.

Lord knows what next year’s cake will be.

With spring, comes planting!  I’m trying to plant more stuff this year, both in the square foot boxes and in the big garden.  I tried to plant tomatoes and peppers from seed, but I didn’t realize how warm they need it and how much light they need, so I think I’m giving up and ordering seedlings.  I have planted the standard stuff–turnips,peas, lettuces, beets, herbs, cukes–as well as fennel (as much b/c it brings swallowtail butterflies as because I like to eat it) and peanuts.  I’ve never tried peanuts before and don’t even know if they will work here.  Later, I’ll put in the corn and melons and squashes and beans.  Also, I”m getting chickens!  So I need to make a coop/moveable run (“chicken tractor”).  Much to do, little time.  That is spring in a nutshell for me.  Maybe, with luck, a peanut shell.

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