That there’s a quote from “Gaslight.”  Great movie.  In case you don’t know, it involves a guy trying to make his wife think she’s crazy (jewel theft figures in here too).  My serger is gaslighting me, I suspect.  The serger, for those fortunate enough to be unaware (are you the same people who never saw Gaslight?  You need to get out more.  Seriously.), is a fancy-pants sewing machine that makes finished edges.  Here’s one:

Looks like an instrument of torture, doesn’t it?  That, my friends, is called truth in advertising.  Mine doesn’t have the little digital window.  And thank heavens for small favors b/c I expect it would use it to taunt me.  “Didn’t you read the manual?”  I have read every little bitty word!  I can recite it like a 19th Century school child in an elocution lesson.  Also, mine has four spools, not five.  To think I seriously considered getting the five spool version!  I’d have ended up institutionalized.

Sergers are…finicky.  They have to be threaded p e r f e c t l y or they don’t work.  Thing is, you have no way of knowing if it’s right until you start to sew.  And if it isn’t right, you have to unthread the whole thing and start over.  Often for an hour or more.  Sometimes it helps to curse and blaspheme.  Sometimes one or the other is better.  Sometimes threats.  Sometimes stalking off and coming back.  And I cannot TELL you how many times I’ve thought “That’s it, the damned thing is broken, I’m taking it to the store,” driven it down to JoAnns, plugged it in, and had it be all “Ribbit.”  Works like a dream.  Perfect.  Get it home and it’s “hello my baby hello my darling. ”  Grr.

Once I get it working, I am loathe to change anything on it, so I seldom manage to match thread to the project.  But I’m trying to make table linens for my very slow moving Birthday Party business, and it needs to match.  Luckily, I have a pile of stuff that can use red, so once I got it going, I could go for a while, but man…getting it there?  Nearly made me bald.  When you flip down the little door that covers the thread guides, there’s a sticker that says ‘To avoid injury, unplug before cleaning”  It should have stopped after “unplug.”    Or maybe followed that with “and beat with a stout rod.”

It took me over an hour.  An hour of cursing and threats.  but it is done now, so if you need anything finished in red, let me know.  Rolled hems only, I’m not changing a THING on this.