I had another ANTM dream last night.  For years now–13 cycles, which is like 5 Tyra years?–I’ve been having dreams in which I’m a contestant on America’s Next Top Model (for the record?  The final three are Laura, Nicole, and Erin.  Erin will probably win b/c Laura has that accent and Nicole sounds stoned.  But Laura should totally win even though Nicole is the prettiest and best model.  Erin is weird looking and I just don’t get it).  When the dreams started, it was far fetched and fun.  I’ve aged like 10 years in those 5 and now it just feels mean.  In the dreams, I’m usually around 30, but know that I’m older.  I’m usually pretty sure I’m about to be eliminated, but I have hung on far longer than I’d have expected.  Last night, I was on my way to a go-see (if you don’t know what that is, I’m just sad for you) and realize that I don’t have good undies.  I could only find Granny Pants, all the way to my waist, which I NEVER wear.  And then, in the limo on the way to the go-see, I realized I hadn’t shaved.   What if they want me to model a swimsuit?  It would not be pretty.   And then I woke up and thought “Really brain?  Really?  That’s our big hurdle to being a swimsuit model, a want of Nair?  Really?”  Stupid brain.  Also, I had had trouble running in my stilletos and wondered if I could get away with a lower wedge.  A problem I face so often.

In actuality, this is what is on my feet:


Oh yes, they ARE that awesome.  Especially if I’m also wearing my kelly green cords embroidered with hot pink chickens.  These used to be plain brown Birkis, but I seldom wore them (because brown? snore).  Now they get a lot of wear, as long as it isn’t raining.  I used acrylics and then used an acrylic spray, but I’m not sure how well they’d hold up to getting very wet.  Not to mention that that tends to make Birks go stinky.

In health news, I was supposed to have my kidney stones blasted tomorrow but postponed.  I realized I really had no idea what was going on or why or if it was necessary or if I could wait it out or what.  So I want to chat with the doc first.  My friend Janet said “So why don’t you cancel for now?” and it had seriously never even dawned on me that that was an option.  I have such a need to be The Good Patient that I seldom question.  Away from the doctors or if it’s someone else’s doc?  I’m all “Screw those guys, you’re the customer, you have the power!” But in front of them, I’m all “Yes Docktah!” It took forever to work up the nerve to call and then I really needed a nap.  Pathetic,  that’s what I am. It’s likely that I’ll still get the procedure, but I want a better feel for what is going on with this treatment.  Are more stones forming?  Are some gone?  Might they all go on their own?  No clue.

Halloween is a week and a bit away.  Julianna, previously planning to be a fairy, has decided to be Sgt. Pepper.  I got her a green collarless jacket with a matching tank top at Goodwill.  I used the arm area of the tank to make a Nehru-ish band jacket-y collar on the jacket and the remaining fabric from the tank (only the top 1/3 of it was the green, the rest was unusable, lame navy) to make those hairbrush looking epaulets.  She has spent the last two afternoons glueing trim and sewing buttons and going to town on the thing.  It’s looking pretty awesome, I must say.  Ben wants to be Tom Baker as Dr. Who.  We have a coat for it, I just need to find a super long stripey scarf.  Target has some, but I’m hoping to get it cheaper.  Lily has not settled, and has bounced from zombie to vampire and back again.  I think she needs to roll with the Early 70s vibe of her siblings (yes, I know Pepper came out in 67.  But Baker wasn’t Doctor until 74).  Richard Nixon was a suggestion.  I think an awesome one.  Maybe Goldie Hawn on Laugh-in?  I’ll send her out in a bikini and body paint.  Your suggestions welcome…