I was going to call this post “Five Dollar Milkshake” but I see that I made that exact joke when I blogged about my first trip to Sam Wong Salon (you should click the link, it’s damed funny if I do say so myself).  As we often tell the children, jokes don’t usually get funnier the more you tell them…but damn, it really was apt.

Anyway.  Steve, because he is awesome, got me a gift certificate to this salon that I have yammered about ever since I got a haircut there in June of 07.  I’ve been going to The Temple, the beauty school, and have been mostly happy.  But now and again I’d get a kinda crappy cut.  And slowly it added up to Not Nice Hair.  It was okay, but…clumsy.  And the color had gotten cheap looking (because it was, in fact, cheap).  So Steve set me up for a cut and color with The Man (not the one who is always keeping a brotha down.  The one that cuts hair).  So I showed up, ready for the robe and the minor cranial assault and magic.

I had simmering plans for a Big Change but chickened out in the end and just stayed blonde and asked to have the long layers made softer and healthier.  So he went to mix up the color and eventually returned with a tray holding what appeared to be food.  There was a pot of greek yogurt, a pot of mole sauce, a pot of raspberry jam, and a pot of chocolate fudge.  They’ve converted the salon to all-organic, so these were ammonia-free, all natural, made by the fairies hair color.   I admit, it was nice to not breathe the fumes and think “and what bodily system am I damaging today in the name of vanity?”  And oh, it took a long time to get them on.  I read many crap magazines because I’d forgotten my book.  Then I had to bake for 10 min.  Then sit for 10. Then I got to go to the glorious sinks that are essentially beds with a hose at the end.  Seriously, there’s not a dip in the sink, it’s a platform and you turn your head to one side or the other to get the back rinsed.  Heaven.  At the sink bed, the shampoo chippie put “toner” on my head (your toner cartridge recycling program in action!) and I got to lay THERE for 10 min.  Then rinse, wash, and massage.  love that.

The cut was just as bappity-bap and precise as the first one.    I accidentally noticed about halfway through that Sam’s button fly was open on the bottom two buttons.  So then I had to REALLY NOT LOOK b/c I’d hate for him to see me notice and then notice himself.  He has scissors trained on my head.  I could see that the color was great and the cut was going to be kind of choppy and cute, which I like.  But then he got out the asthmatic blow dryer and a round brush as big around as a forearm.  And oh, the things he can do with that.  I had BIG hair.  Big Texas Newscaster Hair.  I totally cracked up and said, “It’s…big.” and he smooshed it down a bit.  But still, can’t you just hear it?

“Does a silent killer lurk in your sock drawer?  Find out at 11.”

In the end, excellent hair cut.  I think the color will wear well, provided the ice cream toppings don’t give out faster than the chemicals of yore.  Totally not so much better than other places as to justify the price, but I’m viewing it as a day at the spa because it was  a THREE HOUR APPOINTMENT (a three hour appoinment…).  I got there at 11 and left at 2 so hungry I could have eaten that hair color.  

Lily, when I picked her up at school said, “Mommy you look sexy!”  

“So, what does THAT mean?” (holding breath)

“You look like a teenager!”

Of course I do.  But thank you honey.  Just for that, I won’t photoshop the lines off my face.

I’ll be sure to let you know what it looks like after *I* wash it.  I know you’re worried.