Listen up, humans (that’s right, not “hoomins.” Cats are not sub-literate fools. You are.), just because you cannot have a dog, do not think we will cave and let you keep this human kitten. Oh no. This:
Is not as cute as you think. Nor is it funny to say, “Oh look, Hazel, there’s a kitty! Go git ‘er!” That is not a funny joke. This is a funny joke:
How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Doesn’t matter. Dogs are too stupid to screw in lightbulbs and they still would have their sad, pathetic night vision that makes them bump into things. Because they are stupid.
Funny. and not at all suprising.
That human kitten thing is utterly undiscriminating. It will put anything into its mouth. Witness:
We mean, seriously. That is not the sign of an especially evolved creature. When was the last time you saw a cat trying to eat plastic? Not counting Dink. She’s…a bit of an outlier on most things.
So. Our demands are simple. Get. Rid. of. this. thing. I cannot BELIEVE there’s not a better spay/neuter program for you creatures.
No matter what your wee human brains are telling you. This: