Listen up, humans (that’s right, not “hoomins.” Cats are not sub-literate fools.  You are.),  just because you cannot have a dog, do not think we will cave and let you keep this human kitten.  Oh no. This:

Is not as cute as you think.  Nor is it funny to say, “Oh look, Hazel, there’s a kitty!  Go git ‘er!”  That is not a funny joke.  This is a funny joke:

How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Doesn’t matter.  Dogs are too stupid to screw in lightbulbs and they still would have their sad, pathetic night vision that makes them bump into things.  Because they are stupid.

This:

not funny.

This, however?

Funny.  and not at all suprising.

That human kitten thing is utterly undiscriminating. It will put anything into its mouth.  Witness:

We mean, seriously.  That is not the sign of an especially evolved creature.  When was the last time you saw a cat trying to eat plastic?  Not counting Dink. She’s…a bit of an outlier on most things.

So.  Our demands are simple.  Get. Rid. of. this. thing.  I cannot BELIEVE there’s not a better spay/neuter program for you creatures.

No matter what your wee human brains are telling you.  This:

is NOT

Cute.

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