In the opening, the girls come to the realization that if there are 3 of them, that means only one will not be in the bottom two at judging. And people think models are dumb. Please. Jaslene shows up to introduce the Covergirl challenge, which usually means seeing who can’t remember how to say “Easy Breezy Beautiful.” But again I am floored by the stick insectness of our deaf transvestite darling. Honey, have a sandwich. Her legs make me feel queasy. And even Karen Carpenter is saying, Damn, girl is THIN.

They have to push some horrid fruity lipgloss. Because apparently they’re in jr. high. They have to describe it as “virtually sticky free” which, in addition to being grammatically clunky, tells me that this product is sticky. Sticky, stinky, shiney Cover Girl! They all need at least a dozen takes and look cheesy. They go to panel for the traditional “Tell us why you’re great/who will you throw under a train” discussion. Jenah is the only one that doesn’t throw Jenah under. They others think that her arrogance, rather than her scary teeth are the reason to send her home.

Tyra critcizes Saleisha’s ennunciation in the commercial, but I think Danielle and Jaslene have shown us that a mouth full of marbles is one of the best assets of a Top Model. Jenah has the best commercial, but b/c she’s been dubbed “the ironic one,” they tell her that she looks like she’s making fun of the product. On this show, you get your label and that’s that. Saleisha is commercial. Chantal is untrained. Jenah is sarcastic. Meh. I really think this might be the last season for me. No, really. Tyra poked and poked at Jenah about why she seems defensive–was it because you were deprived of a normal childhood? You always had to be strong? And then has that smug, I-am-Martin-Luther-Oprah! look…Dude, she’s sleep deprived, stressed, and on the chopping block. They are ALL on the verge of tears. You are nothing. Shut UP. You did not give her self-awareness as a consolation prize. You just booted her. From a game show.

The runway show was predictably stupid. I don’t think they even bothered to pretend it was real this time. There was no audience, just 500 guys in costumes. Horrible. Ugly clothes, stupid gimmicks with people on stilts, one of whom tripped on Chantal’s costume. Dumb, useless, whatever. Let’s end this, shall we?

Saleisha, who went to Tyra’s T-zone camp, got the “edgy” haircut that Tyra emmulated, and got to say the signature line in their CoverGirl ad, is the winner. I know, knock me over. You’ll have to watch on your own, henceforth. Without Janice Dickinson to bring the crazy bitch edge, it’s just hollow and dull. Deana out, y’all.

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