Pack your bags, ya’ll, we’re going to Beijing! The girls mourn Heather’s loss for…a split second. Bianca eulogizes that “it really doesn’t make much of a difference when she’s not here.” I bet Heather is having second thoughts about leaving that nice note. Then, frenzied packing to go to the second “fashion capital.’ Really? I mean, I’m sure a lot of fashion gets manufactured in Bejing and Shang-hai, but I’m not getting the Milan vibe here.

Chantal tells us, a little bit giddily, that Jenah is “falling apart.” Jenah interviews that “being in the bottom two is the best feeling in the world, you should try it.” And I dont get the sense that she meant it as that sarcasm that Nigel was so fond of… There was this one beautiful moment in the snark-about-one-another sequence (from which our future winner, Saleisha is conspicuously absent) in which Bianca is complaining that Chantal is too perky. She says, dropping her voice to a snarl, “I’m like shut UP!” and then she rearranges her face into a cheerful visage and smiles, “You know, shut up!” like she’d never meant it for real at all. But it’s perfectly clear that Chantal is VERY lucky to be alive.

The challenge is to portray 4 women from Chinese mythology. And you should have SEEN the foot shifting and eye rolling as the girls waited while J and Twiggy narrated the little show about the women. “I’m like come ON!” Bianca. Of course. the girls are turned loose in a mall to buy accessories and such for their look. They buy shoes in Aldo. For petesakes. It’s just a damned mall, just like we have here. But the malls here? They don’t have Bianca, lying to us to send us on snipe hunts. Impressive, even for her.

Okay, question. They told the girls to modernize these looks and sent them shopping. Did one of the shops contain Project Runway contestants b/c they suddenly have wildly altered costumes. Jenah’s ugly yellow pumps did not turn her long gown into a minidress. And where did Bianca buy that skanky walk, b/c it was impressive. She held her handbag and pursed her lips (a handbag AND a purse) in this totally “MmHMmm” way. And clown makeup, too. I think she’s forgotten her goal is to win a CoverGirl contract. Not a spot on the pole.

Photo shoot on the Great Wall. Tyra as photographer. Girls are dressed as Mongol invaders, you know, like they always do in photo shoots in high fashion. Bianca is getting the total loser edit, like she did early on. She had been so horrid to everyone, that they had to give her a better edit for a while to make us feel better about her being there still. But now that she’s clearly going home, we can get her Mean Girl interviews again.

So at panel, Chantal gets the “where are you going? Do you want this? You are fading away” story. Bianca gets the “stiff” line. Chantal and Saleisha get the love. And Chantal really is beautiful in a totally bland way.

Heather wins Cover Girl of the week. Ouch.

The best thing about watching on TiVo is that I don’t have to listen to Tyra natter on in her “only one photo” speech. But yeah, Bianca goes home. Shocking.

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