Category Archive

First, update on Chile-gate. A message from Mom’s Chilean friend:

“Hi Susan, we are ok, actually we are in Chile right now !! we traveled on
Wed and arrived yesterday here very tired it was a long trip i had forgotten
how long it was… my parents and all my family are very exited and happy
with us here…
The correct pronunciation would be more like… Chelay, i know lot of people
call it chili, or chilee, but actually, the sond of the I is the american e
and the sound of the E is the same sound of the e in the word elephant…”

So, if I’m interpreting correctly, it’s chellay….but I’m not sure what “l is the american e” could possibly mean. That’s like “orange is the new black.” Thus, henceforth, it shall be known as South Peru.

–”Organic bananas” sounds like a back-up band. “Herman Menderchuck and the Organic Bananas: Live at the Fillmore”

–When you show up at the 4-H center in linen and chunky jewelry, people look at you askance. Even if you’re hauling a sewing machine. Who knew the 4-H crowd would be so stringent in a “no linen before Memorial Day” rule?

–While the Muppet Movie is just as awesome as ever, maybe even more, Ms. Piggy is still unbearable. Such a gross misstep from the Henson/Oz team. I think Frank Oz probably blackmailed Jim Henson into letting him do Ms. Piggy. I will accept no other theories. Also, it is amusing to see the “celebrity” cameos throughout and note that the kids only knew Steve Martin. Who’s a big shot now, Elliot Gould?

–My fattest pair of fat pants are now too big. Woo!

–I am reading (still. The book is a billion pages long) Jonathon Strange and Mr. Norrell which is set in the early 1800s. I’m afraid is it making me a bit bitter that I do not have a household staff. How lovely to have someone anticipate that you might be hungry and offer a snack. To wake ahead of you and stoke the fire and make coffee…It would be like having an overindulgent mom. I’d promise to treat them respectfully. Really. I’d never beat them and I’d let them have an extra hour with their own families at Christmastide.

First, some observations on the always amusing makeover episode of ANTM:

Wow. They finally just flat went to WalMart and told the girls that the Top Model will get her photo on a wall at WalMart. Just…awesome.

Seriously, if you have made it this far in the ANTM casting process, would you not have practiced walking in heels and putting on makeup? Why, ever year, is there are least one girl throwing her hands up and saying “‘I’ve never put on heels before!” Are they shang-hai-ing 20something mildly attractive, slightly tall girls and forcing them to pretend to audition? I think we might need a blue ribbon government panel.

Okay, the Tyra Mail coming over the LED thing? And the chanted group reading of said mail? Horrible. And, it deprives us of the moment that we find out one or more of the girls can just barely read.

Tyra: “Marvita is going to get a horse mane hair weave. Which is something I’ve never seen before in my life, it’s something I kind of invented? We’re going to keep the sides as they are (super super short) and take this hair here? (the longer fauxhawk hair) (Tyra sings this next line) And add. long hair. like a horse! So she’s going to be like (whinnies)” You KNOW I’m not making this up. That’s what Marvita gets for not getting the hint when they eliminated her butt last cycle.

First Twiggy, then Paulina, now Elle MacPhearson…was some sort of Right to Work anti-ageism legislation passed? Is the show being filmed in a nursing home for former models? Will we see Pat Stevens?

Does anyone get told how beautiful she is more than the “plus size” girls? They’re always getting the “You are a beautiful woman” “Your body is so lovely” Uh huh. That’s why the other 13 are so thin. And why the fatty goes home in the first half of the cycle.

I can now, reliably, predict who will go home before the first commercial.

But I was so inspired that I decided to get a fierce new look, too. I considered the horse mane hair weave because I just KNOW it will be the hottest thing in the car line this year, but I chickened out. I went back to the Temple but got a different girl this time–Ashlee. I still had the hated Thiery hanging over us, giving slightly snarky advice. I can’t help but be amused by the thought of all those Masons, rolling in their graves at the thought that their beloved temple is over run with femmy guys and trashy looking women. And 40-60 year old moms looking for a cheap haircut with free entertainment. I’m telling you–if any Frederick Maryland residents read this–go to the The Temple. Big fun. So behold!

Before:

After:

Well hey there, Fizzy Pop! I’m glad to see you, I’m hungry. What’s for lunch?

Mmmm…what’s all this?

Why, I think these are lovely vinyl bags and wrappers!

Yummers! Let’s eat! And then reuse our bags! Thanks, Fizzy Pop!

Now go read Nell’s blog and see how sad this wee lunch is. Sigh.

I last tried doll-making back during the Cabbage Patch era. I made a Michael Jackson Cabbage Patch-style doll for my MJ-crazed cousin. Because I was full of disdain even then (so young and tender for such bitterness), I gave him a bald patch on the back of his curly head to commemorate the recent head-fire that the real MJ had while shooting a Pepsi ad (yes, children, Michael Jackson was once sought after for endorsement deals!). I made him one sparkley silver glove. I thought I was hilarious. But that was the end of doll-making for me, except for when I made giant soft sculpture puppets for a college presentation of The Visit. Which was freakin’ weird.

Stacey called and asked if I would make a Ms. Frizzle doll for Annika, who is way into The Magic Schoolbus. Never one to shirk a challenge (oh we know THAT’s not true), I said yes. In truth, I do love a puzzle. I just wanted to see if I COULD. So. Here’s Ms. Frizzle:

And here’s the doll, in her planet dress:

From the back:

Here’s her Plant Dress…I made it first and found the styling kind of Little House on the Prairie, so I made the planet dress with a circle skirt w/o gathers:

I took a few photos while I was making her, thinking I might set up a sewing blog. But lord I can barely keep this one up-to-date, so if you don’t care about sewing, just plow past those posts. But your loss. So, here’s The Friz after the chemo:

It’s really no surprise she got cancer, what with all the shrinking and growing and transforming…that HAS to wreak havoc with your cells. I really worry about the kids, who are getting all that at such a young age.

And, for all you pervs out there, Ms. Frizzle nekkid, with her hair down:

I hope that Magic School Bus porn is a very esoteric interest…

So she’s done, I like her, and I have no intention of making any more. That makes her art. Enjoy!