I’m Deana Whitaker Greenberg. Or Deana Greenberg. I’ll put both in case some ol’ buddy from high school is looking for me on Google. You know how wildly popular I was.

I have 3 kids. I’m 40 years old. I like to sew and I make lovely handbags and cute aprons and other crap for you to buy. I also would like to sell you jewelry. Perhaps some throw pillows. If you see anything else you like, you just make an offer. I’m ready to deal. I enjoy food and drink far too well for my own good. I have yet to discover a form of exercise that I actually want to do. Probably not a magical combination. I loathe housework and very seldom do any. I tend toward the cranky. And in case this is all sounding too good to be true, I’ll just point out that I’m happily married, so you don’t have a chance, pal.