Back in the day, I never got a paper done without pulling an all-nighter.  I wanted better for my children.  So we did their science fair projects this morning before school.  TWO science fair projects, from start to display board, in 90 min.  I am HARDCORE, people.

I tell the press that I’m all about the Montessori philosophy of child-led learning, but in reality, the stupid projects do not cross my mind unless I see other kids carrying the boards into the school.  Yesterday, I nudged Ben and said, “Hey, what do you suppose those are?”

“Um…science fair projects?”

“Ya think?  Were you planning on ever doing one?” (they’ve known about these for at least a month)

“Well, I would, but you’re always too bus…” I cut him off

“Oh, do not even TRY that, pal.  We just finished a long weekend and you did not mention it even once.  This is not MY problem.”

So last night, at 9:15, he suggested we do the project. I told him I’d wake him up this morning.

And since, for whatever idiot reason, the Kindergarten is supposed to do one too, I had to come up with something for Lily.  So at 7 am, Ben was adding salt to a cup of water to see how much it took to make an egg float (10 tsp.  Now you know), and at 7:30, Lily was dropping water onto a black marker circle she made on a coffee filter to see what colors leak out.  Utterly pointless, both of them.

Attention schools: You have our children for  6 hours a day.  Get it done then.  We don’t get home until after 4.  Bed time is at 8:30. Dinner takes up some of that.  The rest if for the kids.  Get off my back.  Or next year’s science fair project will be done in the van on the way to school.